After Boston last year, I wasn’t sure if I would want to run it again. I was scared, sad and anxiety ridden. And for awhile, I lost the desire to race.
When it was time to train for NYC, I didn’t want to start. I actually decided that I wasn’t going to do it at all. Then I realized what I was about to give up, and give in to, and I got over it. And I am SO glad I did, seeing that it was one of the best races of my life!
After NYC, I was beyond motivated for racing and knew I had to get myself back to Boston. NYC had qualified for me for the 2014 and 2015 race, however the 2014 race was no longer an option, as it was full. I was sad I didn’t get myself a new BQ before the 2014 race cut off, but I accepted that I would just have to wait for 2015.
Then this happened….
I saw it around noon, and by 12:30pm, my essay was written and submitted. It was one of the hardest, yet easiest things I have ever written. The words just flowed. It was like I didn’t even think about what I was writing. All of my thoughts and feelings poured out on the keyboard, and in the end, I had my 250 word essay ready to submit.
A couple weeks after submitting my essay, I received my good news. I was ACCEPTED into the race.
After I read my email, I was in shock. I immediately called my Mom and told her. Naturally she tried to talk me out of it with everything that was going on in my life. New job, getting married, honeymoon, etc was a lot to handle during marathon training. But I never thought twice. I knew I had to run this race. And I wanted to run this race.
On April 21, I get my Boston Marathon experience. I get to remember the day for what it is supposed to be – a huge celebration. Not for what I have stuck in my mind – a terrible tragedy. It won’t be my fastest marathon, but I have a feeling it will be my best marathon EVER.
And in case you’re up for some light reading, here is my essay:
On April 15, 2013, my life was forever changed. My Boston Marathon celebration was cut short when two bombs exploded at the finish line of the race. While I did not see the terror of the bombs exploding, I heard it and felt it. So many emotions came rushing at once, most of which were fear and sadness. Boston changed me in many ways. Many months following the marathon, I lived with fear in my heart and mind. Fear that my fellow runners and I would go through this situation again. And mostly fear that our Nation would have to experience this horror again. While I have been able to overcome much of the anxiety, fear and panic the Boston Marathon bombings had on my life, some of it still remains. I think about Boston every single day. To this day when I hear a loud noise, my heart skips a beat and I have to fight off an anxiety attack. My Boston Marathon experience was stolen from me, just as it was for many other runners. And I want my chance at redemption on April 21, 2014! The possibility to have another shot at Boston would be amazing. I want my chance at happy memories from the race and the opportunity to conquer a fear that was not there when I crossed the starting line in 2013. I also want to celebrate my finish by drinking a Sam Adams with friends that were accepted into the 2014 race. And lastly, April 21 is my Birthday, and I cannot think of a better way to celebrate than by crossing the most prestigious finish line in the world and finally having my closure!