Tag Archives: relationships

Being the best version of YOU.

13 Nov

Lately I have been thinking a lot about life – specifically living the best life possible.

Much of living the best life possible comes down to the decisions that we make on an everyday basis. We control our lives. We control our happiness. And we control changing things if we aren’t happy.

And sometimes “changing things” can mean making hard decisions.

When I talk to a friend that is sad or in a lull, I always ask them the same thing, “are you living the life that makes you the best person you can possibly be?”

Usually if I am having this conversation with them, the answer is “no”.

I have found that usually the areas we are discussing revolve around three things – Jobs, relationships and ourselves. And I always offer the same advice for each.

If you are unhappy with your job, you should look into ways you can make your job work better for you. And if your job doesn’t work for you anymore, you should think about another path you could take.

If you are unhappy with your relationships, strive to make new ones or let old ones go (I wrote about this specific item earlier this year)

If you are unhappy with yourself, do something that makes YOU happy.

Strive to live your BEST life. Strive to live a life that makes you the BEST version of yourself.

Sometimes the route to making positive changes can be extremely hard, and sometimes feel negative. Trust me, I know.

But I ask you to keep your eye on the prize. And the prize is your happiness. Which in my opinion is one of the best prizes of all 🙂

xo,

Ali

Have you ever made a hard decision because it would give you a happier life?

What advice do you tell friends or family members that are going through a hard time?

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A week in my life – day six.

17 Mar

HAPPY WEEKEND!!!

And I am VERY happy that the week in my life challenge is almost over! I am laughing because you can tell that the posts and photos are getting shorter and shorter. I am losing my non stop photo taking energy 🙂

Saturday was a bumpy day. I felt like I was rushed all day, and I hate that feeling. I did have a minor panic attack during the day. More to come on that later…

Here goes Saturday…

7:15am - Out of bed, checking the weather for our run. Thinking, "I AM SO TIRED OF COLD WEATHER!!! I WANT TO RUN IN SKIRTS AGAIN!!!!!"

7:15am – Out of bed, checking the weather for our run. Thinking, “I AM SO TIRED OF COLD WEATHER!!! I WANT TO RUN IN SKIRTS AGAIN!!!!!”

7:35am - Arrive to my run late. Feel stressed. Get in Stacy's car and see Diana sitting in Caden's car seat in this bright and happy outfit. Feel happier.

7:50am – Arrive to my run late. Feel stressed. Get in Stacy’s car and see Diana sitting in Caden’s car seat in this bright and happy outfit. Feel happier.

9:45am - Finish up with the 12 miler. It was a good run pace wise, but I was feeling not so hot during it. Just felt worn down and tired. I was also having some really bad vertigo. So bad I kept weaving...it is a side effect of some medicine I was taking).

9:45am – Finish up with the 12 miler. It was a good run pace wise, but I was feeling not so hot during it. Just felt worn down and tired. I was also having some really bad vertigo. So bad I kept weaving…it is a side effect of some medicine I was taking.

9:55pm - Get picked up by Ramsey from my run. Take a post run photo. Realize my numbers are backwards.

9:55pm – Get picked up by Ramsey from my run. Take a post run photo. Realize my numbers are backwards.

Post run errand to the post office to mail a birthday treat.

Post run errand to the post office to mail a birthday treat.

10am - Retake my post run photo with my hands held up in the correct order :)

10am – Retake my post run photo with my hands held up in the correct order 🙂

10:10am - Grab a post run breakfast at a cute little cafe.

10:10am – Grab a post run breakfast at a cute little cafe.

11:40am - Say "hi" to Lola!!!

11:40am – Say “hi” to Lola!!!

12:15pm - Drive to Ramsey's house to get ready for the Sporting KC game. Try to keep myself from having a meltdown because I am so rushed and feeling overwhelmed.

12:15pm – Drive to Ramsey’s house to get ready for the Sporting KC game, while having an internal meltdown.

PAUSE. Yes, I was full out having a meltdown in the photo above. I was stressed to the max, feeling so rushed and just straight up overwhelmed. Then I took a moment to work on my perspective and think about why I was so stressed.

I was so stressed because I was rushing to get from a run with my friends, to breakfast with my love, followed by the Sporting KC game, then to meet friends to watch the KU game.

Boo freaking woo. I thought, “I am so stressed and about to cry because I am spending the day full of things I love doing….Why am I having a meltdown right now?!?!”

On my run today, someone said the phrase, “check it before you wreck it.” This was perfect for that very moment. I needed to check my attitude before I wrecked my day. Get over it, you are doing things all day that you are CHOOSING to do. There is no need to feel stressed and feel cranky. As soon as I realized this, I felt 1000 times better. My attitude changed and I was ready to face the day with a new, positive, attitude.

1:15pm - Head to the Sporting KC game. Ramsey noticed my meltdown status and surprised me with a glass of wine. He knows how to calm me down. Then I spilled the wine in his car (I was sipping on wine, Ramsey was driving...no worries, we has not drinking and driving!).

1:15pm – Head to the Sporting KC game. Ramsey noticed my meltdown status and surprised me with a glass of wine. He knows how to calm me down. Then I spilled the wine in his car. He wasn’t happy. (I was sipping on wine, Ramsey was driving…no worries, we has not drinking and driving!).

2:00pm - Sit down in our seats at the game. Grab a couple Blue Moons.

2:00pm – Sit down in our seats at the game. Grab a couple Blue Moon’s.

CHEESE! First home game of the season ended with a tie. 0-0...keep in mind why I get frustrated at soccer games.

CHEESE! First home game of the season ended with a tie. 0-0…Remember why I get frustrated at soccer games.

6:00pm - Meet some friends to watch the KU game. Rock Chalk baby. They WON! And we won with some amazing bar food!

6:00pm – Meet some friends to watch the KU game. Rock Chalk baby. They WON! And we won with some amazing bar food!

8:30pm - Home for the night. Feeling so exhausted! I actually feel asleep next to Ramsey watching 20/20. When I woke up I turned on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Pt 2. I immediately start crying...I love this movie!!! And I love these ninja turtle PJ pants.

8:30pm – Home for the night. Feeling so exhausted! I actually feel asleep next to Ramsey watching 20/20. When I woke up I turned on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Pt 2. I immediately start crying…I love this movie!!! And I love these ninja turtle PJ pants.

Go to bed. NO ALARMS set on Sundays!!!!

10pm – Ready to go to bed. NO ALARMS set on Sunday mornings!!!!

Hope you had a great Saturday too!!!

xo,

Ali

A week in my life – day five.

17 Mar

TGIF was the theme of Friday.

Fridays are great days. They are busy, but you see an end in sight to the week and know that relaxation is almost here!!

Here we go….

6:10am - Wake up, pry Ramsey out of bed for a morning run.

6:10am – Wake up, pry Ramsey out of bed for a morning run.

Set the Garmin in the window to catch a satellite. This can save 5 minutes of standing outside before a run waiting for your Garmin to catch a satellite!

Set the Garmin in the window to catch a satellite. This can save 5 minutes of standing outside before a run waiting for your Garmin to catch a satellite!

Admire the morning sunlight while running next to Kansas City Country Club Golf Course.

Admire the morning sunlight while running next to Kansas City Country Club Golf Course.

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Strike a pose when I get home. Notice the pants??

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I had no pants at Ramsey’s house. I had to search for a pair of his that would work. Came up with these long underwear pants. I have no clue how he wears them…they fit me and my butt is WAY smaller than his!

7:am - Quick and easy 3 miles done!

7:am – Quick and easy 3 miles done!

8am - Ready for work!

8am – Ready for work!

I love these TB flats. So girly and fun.

I love these TB flats. So girly and fun.

8:10am - Go to work. Stop halfway down the street because Ramsey left his coffee cup on the roof of his car. The thing didn't spill!

8:10am – Go to work. Stop halfway down the street because Ramsey left his coffee cup on the roof of his car. The thing didn’t spill!

8:10am - Get to work...feeling a little weak from the night of wine on Thursday. Needed some grease.

8:10am – Get to work…feeling a little weak from the night of wine on Thursday. Needed some grease.

12:15pm - Go to Panera with Lauren. Is that not the prettiest bag?!

12:15pm – Go to Panera with Lauren. Is that not the prettiest bag?! And the Panera guy in the background looks like he is falling asleep.

12:45pm - Instagram a collage from the week.

12:45pm – Instagram a collage from the week. Find me here: instagram.com/alihat

1:15pm - Get really excited because the Harlem Shake liked my picture!

1:15pm – Get really excited because the Harlem Shake liked my picture!

1:45pm - Enjoy my cookie.

1:45pm – Enjoy my cookie.

3:30pm - Meeting in the Creative offices. Admire their little character set.

3:30pm – Meeting in the Creative offices. Admire their little character set.

6:15pm - Finish writing my cards for the engineering Kanban board. Drop them off in their office so they know what to work on Monday!

6:15pm – Finish writing my cards for the engineering Kanban board. Drop them off in their office so they know what to work on Monday!

Think...."ok, I WILL clean on Monday!!!"

Think….”ok, I WILL clean on Monday!!!”

6:45pm - Go to my parents with Ramsey. Sit outside in the amazing weather, drink some wine, and chat with my Mom, Dad and Brother.

6:45pm – Go to my parents with Ramsey. Sit outside in the amazing weather, drink some wine, and chat with my Mom, Dad and Brother.

Box of wine appears to be gone. But wait, if you pull the bag out of the box, you can get another glass out of it!!! (yes, learned that trick in college!)

Box of wine appears to be gone. But wait, if you pull the bag out of the box, you can get another glass out of it!!! (yes, learned that trick in college!)

After a night of laying on the couch, chatting with my family and relaxing, I go to bed.

11:23 pm – After a night of laying on the couch, chatting with my family and relaxing, I go to bed.

xo!

Ali

Loving Love

14 Feb

Happy Valentines Day!

I love this day. I always have.

When I was in school I would look forward to making my Valentines Day box and delivering my valentines to all my classmates. What can I say, I love love.

The past few months I have thought a lot about relationships. What makes them good, what makes them bad, what makes them life long, and what makes them short lived.

Rarely do I really talk about “love” on this blog, and never have I offered up advice on this topic. But since it is Valentines Day, I feel like I can share my opinion on the subject.

So here we go.

When you are in a relationship with the right person, you know it. I remember hearing this many years ago and thinking, “surely it is not that easy!”, well I think it is.

I have also discovered that when you are in a relationship with the right person, you will both end up being better people because of it.

I have flaws, we all do. My biggest flaw (in my opinion, so let’s not offer up other suggestions!) is anxiety. I have known a life of worrying and feeling anxious for so many years that I didn’t ever know I could live without it. This anxiety has caused me to experience horrible heartburn, stomach aches and hair loss over the years. I never imagined I could go one day without having some kind of anxious feeling or worry. But now, I do.

In my previous relationships I would be happy, but still have my nagging anxiety present in the background. It was like a cloud over everything. Constant worry and stress about what could be coming, and things that had previously happened occurring again.

Nowadays, I no longer struggle with the constant anxiety and stress that I once thought would always be a part of my life. It was like one day I woke up and POOF! the lingering cloud had moved on. The cloud that I thought I would always live under was gone.

Living “cloud free” has been amazing. And I know exactly what I can attribute this to. The best decision I have ever made was saying “yes” to a dinner invitation from someone I had known for awhile but never took that next step with. Since saying “yes”, my life has been happy and complete and I am a better person because of him.

I foresee bright sunshiny days ahead with him.

I foresee bright sunshiny days ahead with him.

If you are unsure of your relationship, or where your love life is taking you, I ask you to consider if this current situation is making you a better person. I also ask you to think about your biggest flaw, and whether or not the person you are with fixes the flaw, or makes it even worse.

Had someone offered up this advice many years ago – and I actually listened to it – I could’ve saved a lot of money on nexium and hair loss shampoo.

Happy Valentines Day friends, I hope your day is as full of love as mine has been 🙂

xoxoxo,

Ali

 

 

Negative Self Talk Sucks.

20 Jan

Last season at Girls on the Run, we had a lesson about negative self talk. And we discussed how girls are particularly bad at this behavior.

Negative self talk is just like it sounds – telling yourself negative things you believe to be true. And for us girls, most negative self talk revolves around the way we look.

“I’m not pretty enough”, “I’m not skinny enough”, “My thighs are too big”, “My hair is too short”, etc.

The reason why I am telling you about this, is because yesterday I had a very bad negative self talk day. And it all began in the fitting room at Lululemon.

My boyfriend and I stopped by Lulu so I could buy some new treats to replace items I had returned for Christmas. I stepped into the fitting room, and tried on some of those tight booty shorts. I thought they would be good for spin.

Well…..that was a big mistake. I couldn’t even step foot out of the room in those babies. I was appalled. I was starting at my legs in disgust, and could not stop looking at spots of cellulite on my thighs. How did I run 10 miles that morning, and have cellulite on my legs?!?

The above situation was step one of the breakdown. After this, I started staring at myself in the mirror even more, and noticed two lovely blemishes smack dab on my forehead.

So the count for negative self talk comments now stands at 2.
1. Cellulite
2. Acne

Then it got worse.

I finally gathered the courage to walk out of the fitting room wearing a striped tank, and running tights. I wanted to get some feedback from the boyfriend and see if he liked it.

So his response?

“I like the pants, but I am not sure the stripes on that tank are quite your thing”.

Yeah….that sent me over the edge.

Now I was battling cellulite, acne and unflattering stripes. And my poor boyfriend was just trying to be helpful when he told me the truth (now he has learned to first find out if I like it, then offer an opinion).

I got dressed (after starting at the cellulite again), and stormed out the of fitting room. Ramsey was semi oblivious and asked if I was ready.

“No, I am NOT ready! Because I have to find a top that flatters me!!!!”.

Whoa. I just snapped at my boyfriend in Lulu, after having a meltdown in the fitting room. What an eventful afternoon.

Finally, I pulled myself together, stopped pouting, and picked out another top that was “my thing”. Then I came clean to Ramsey about why I was freaking out. Of course he was supportive as always, and told me all the reasons why I have n0thing to worry about. It was sweet.

He is so amazing. He will give me a pep talk, AND photoshop my zits out of our pictures!!!

He is so amazing. He will give me a pep talk, AND photoshop my zits out of our pictures!!!

Moral of this story: Negative self talk sucks. It is not productive, and not beneficial. It is also very unhealthy. And I must find a way to overcome it.

I am always good at talking my friends off a ledge when they are feeding their brains with negative self talk, and I am also good at teaching my Girls on the Run girls that they should not be critical of themselves. But for some reason when it comes to me, sometimes I just can’t get those bad thoughts out of my head.

Today, I am much better and feeling quite happy. But I know that it’s only a matter of time until the negative self talk comes back, and I have another meltdown (hopefully not in a Lulu fitting room!!).

At breakfast this morning with my Mom and Aunt, sporting my new Lulu pullover.

At breakfast this morning with my Mom and Aunt, sporting my new Lulu pullover.

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Now I ask you – how do you deal with negative self talk?

And how do you love yourself for everything you are, instead of focusing on the things you are not?

xoxo,

Ali

Marathons are Like Relationships

13 Jan

Following my Dallas Marathon experience, I decided that marathons are like relationships.

So hear me out.

When you train for a marathon, you put your heart and soul into it, much like you do with a relationship. You devote many hours to it, and feel the negative effects when you neglect it.

You also spend insane amounts of time dreaming of the outcome of your hard work. For marathons it would be crossing the finish line in a PR, BQ or goal worthy time. For relationships it would be the wedding with the perfect white dress and gorgeous centerpieces.

And when marathons and relationships don’t go your way, the effects are felt almost the same.

Within the last year, I have been through a relationship that didn’t go my way, and two marathons that also didn’t go my way. And with both cases, I had similar feelings afterwards.

With my marathon I thought to myself, “Wow. I trained for this thing for 5 months, put every ounce of my body into it, and did not get close to the outcome that I desired.”

With my relationship I thought to myself, “Wow. I worked for months, poured my heart into it, wasted tears on it, spent many late nights devoted to it, and did not get the outcome I had thought would come.”

And then with both, I had the realization I would have to completely start over. Back to square one. Back to the drawing board.

When a marathon doesn’t go your way, you can’t just run another one the next weekend and get the outcome you had wanted (unless you are a running freak). When a relationship doesn’t go your way, you can’t just go on a blind date the following Saturday night and meet the person you’ll marry the next week (unless you are a celeb or you make really bad decisions).

In both cases, you have to come to terms with the fact that you will be starting over and the timeline of reaching your dream will be extended.

Someday, I will break 3:30 in my marathon. I am just not sure when that will be. My body and mind need time to recover from Dallas and process what it will take to work towards that goal again. Although I will be running the Boston Marathon in April, I am not sure an under 3:30 marathon is in the cards there.

And someday, I will wear my perfect white wedding dress and have the most perfect centerpieces that are talked about for years. I am well on my way to this dream, and my heart and mind tell me that I will never have to “start over” with this process again. 😉

How do you deal with a marathon that doesn’t go your way? Or a relationship this doesn’t go your way? What helps you accept the fact that you have to start over?

Wishing you a great week ahead!!

xo,

Ali

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